How to Move on from Feeling Stuck
“I don’t know…”
“I have really tried everything – nothing works!”
“I wish I knew…”
“Maybe there IS no way out of this.”
“It’s all very clear in my head – but when it comes to actually doing something, I feel lost.”
And of course,
“Why don’t you tell me what to do to change this?”
Do you have any of these voices right now? Do you feel stuck in your life? Be it at work, in a relationship or just trying to break through some energy-draining habit or pattern. Feeling stuck is experiencing some kind of thought paralysis or action paralysis or even both.
Stuckness is manifested when you:
– are in the grip of your inner critic’s voice and messages
– have a tendency to discount your own needs in the interest of others
– are unable to or unwilling to look at your own resourcefulness
– feel overwhelmed by what needs to be done
– the task of desired change is simply too overwhelming
So what are the possibilities that exist in a life coaching session to help you deal with your stuckness?
As a life coach, I believe this work progresses over the following three aspects:
- Uncovering beliefs: What seem to be some underlying beliefs that are leading to this paralysis? To recognise that these voices belong to some old conditioning and are not serving you currently. To recognise that in yielding to those voices, you are discounting your skills and resources that you have clear evidence for. And to slowly move towards how you would like to change the belief in a way that it supports the change you aspire to make.
- Connecting with one’s creativity: Very simply put creativity is defined as the ability to produce new ideas. I have experienced my own creativity to be most alive when I ask of myself, “What if I could do something that didn’t have to be “right” or “approved of?” When you articulate your beliefs in a life coaching session, it gives me an opening to ask the same question to you. “What if you lowered your expectations?” “What if you didn’t have to face the consequences of your actions – what possibilities do you see?” “Imagine anything is possible – a miracle even – what can happen?” Often I find clients articulating what might have seemed impractical or impossible even – but it does create the ground to then plant the seeds of action and to the next point in the coaching conversation, which is…
- Seeing the baby steps: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Often the idea of change being such an uphill task or even not having the end destination in sight, can be the biggest creator of stuckness. The process of breaking it down, putting down specific actions, thinking through what challenges one anticipates and therefore what support is necessary to enlist – all sow the seeds of vitality needed to support the change.
Several aspects of a life coaching relationship often help build a world of possibilities for you to move away from the feeling of stuckness. The life coach’s willingness to extend unconditional positive regard to you gives you an opportunity to voice out your deepest fears and not feel judged for that. Accountability – which happens through review of the action plan in subsequent sessions, including exploring beliefs that may have come in the way of implementation creates the necessary push and holding required as you initiate the process of change for yourself.
Interestingly, the feeling of stuckness is also hugely facilitating. As Robert Pirsig (best known for his book “Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance) said, “Stuckness shouldn’t be avoided. It’s the physic predecessor of all real understanding.” When you voice your feeling of stuckness, invariably underlying it is a soft voice, seeking to move ahead. And to connect to that voice is to connect with the thought that not only is change possible, it is inevitable. Uncovering that voice and to reconnect with your own creativity creates the hope for getting un-stuck.
If you are feeling stuck in any area of your life, consider meeting a life coach today to get over your indecision and move forward.